February 3, 2010
3 Ways Couple Counseling Works Magic
Why is it that couple counseling works really well for some couples and enables them to move on to a happy future together, while other couples seem to only unravel even quicker while they are attending these sessions? When a marriage hits a rough spot some people see therapy as the way out. They somehow think talking is going to make it all better, especially when both people really do not want to get a divorce.
Obviously, there has to be something that makes the difference between couples that eventually restore the marriage and those that simply fall apart, right?
Even the most severe of issues has been successfully worked through in a therapy session, so it is not true that the difference is only in the severity of the problems. This is most people’s assumption but it’s wrong.
The correct answer is that couples who are able to pull through together are the ones that take their sessions and turn it into action at home. Here are some things to consider if you want to improve your chances of making your marriage work through counseling.
It all starts with your own attitude. If you go in defensive and ready to prove all your spouse’s thoughts and accusations wrong, then you are not really listening to what they have to say. Drop your guard and just really listen to what they are saying, not what it means about you personally.
Second, you have to be willing to bare your soul and really state what you believe. You have to be completely open and honest even if it may hurt your spouse. This is how the root issues get uncovered.
Third, you have to stop name calling and finger pointing and just get down to feelings. All the things you normally fight about are really just masks for larger underlying issues, and those issues are often emotionally based.
So, being honest without blaming and listening to your partner as they reveal their truth in the same way is the biggest hurdle that couples who make this work have to overcome. The next hurdle is taking the things you hear and turning them into real action. Both of you have to take action to make things better, as that is what ultimate fixes the problems you uncover.
Couple counseling can in fact work, but you have to drop your guard and stop trying to be right all the time. If you can get your spouse to go along with those three keys, you will have a fighting chance at working things out.
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Couple Counselling or Save Your Marriage or On line Marriage Cousneling
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Filed under Wedding Planning Tips by weddingtheme
Making the decision to go to couple counselling is a big step. For some couples it is an easy choice to make and for others it can be a difficult decision. The most important thing is that couples get the help they need when they need it.
Many times issues from past relationships are the reason a couple will go to counseling. Sometimes the couple is simply not getting along with one another and they see the need to go to relationship counseling. On occasion people just want to be able to connect with one another on a deeper level and they find that counseling helps them to do that.
When looking for a couples counselor most people will want to know what has worked for others. A good place to start is by asking friends and family if they know of a good counselor. If couples do not get any results they may want to try doing some research on the internet. Couples could also try looking for a counselor in their local yellow pages.
An online search engine is a great way to find reviews for local couples counseling services. If couples cannot find any information on local counselors through a search engine they should consider asking what others experiences were. Couples can do this on a question and answer site such as Yahoo Answers.
Family members and friends are a great place to get referrals for local relationship counselors. It can help to put couples at ease, knowing that a cretin counselor helped someone that they know and love. Some couples may feel uncomfortable speaking with their family about their private issues. If a couple feels uncomfortable speaking with their family or friends they should look for reviews elsewhere.
Those that feel uncomfortable talking about it with close friends of family might consider looking in their local phone book. In large cities there may be a lot of counselors. In small rural towns there may only be one or two counselors.
It is important that couples are comfortable with the counselor that they choose. If one the parties are uncomfortable it may be a good idea to find someone else. For counseling to work it needs to be a mutual agreement.
Couples should not worry when they are going to couple counselling. If they find themselves anxious they should try some relaxation techniques before they go. They could try deep breathing exercises, yoga, or listening to their favorite song. The most important thing is that people do what works best for them.
I think you’ll find this interesting: Couple Counseling or how to get your ex girlfriend back or Christian Marriage Counseling
Tags: Couple Counseling, Couple Counselling, couples counseling, Couples CounsellingRelated posts
Filed under Wedding Planning Tips by weddingtheme
September 22, 2009
Advice and couples therapy
One of the most difficult things we have to do as people is ask for help. It doesn’t matter what it is.In general we want to be the one to figure things out all the time.That includes any problems with relationships we have.But when you are talking about something as important as your relationships, there will be times you have to.
I have seen from my experience doing couples counseling in San Diego the results of people who didn’t want to ask for help.I witnessed many relationships get ruined.Lives that are ruined for the both of them.The part that is so sad is a lot of the times an issue could have been prevented from going to far if they got some counseling.
So why is it so critical to go and get some form of counseling advice in any relationship issues. Because when it comes down to is, our relationships are usually the most important parts of our lives. It could be your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or it could be your spouse in a marriage relationship. If you let problems get too far that wonderful relationship could be over permanently. I have seen couples marriages end as a San Diego marriage therapist by not seeking help.
The reality of it all is that counseling can be of great help.It provides a neutral voice for both parties.It provides the couple someone who can give an opinion that is neutral to what is going on. This neutral party is often enough to help the couple see what the real problems are. Being able to see what the real problems are is just the beginning. But it is an important step if the goal is to fix the relationship.
So if the relationship is important to you fight for it.Don’t let all the heated emotions be the winner in all of this.But by finding some good advice from a counselor, this can help solve a lot of the issues. And when you are dealing with something as important as a relationship you should try everything.
From my experience as a family therapist San Diego many relationships can get fixed with some good advice.
Tags: couples counseling, couples therapy, family therapist, marriage counseling, marriage counselorRelated posts
September 15, 2009
Signs to look for in troubled relationships
All’s fair in love and war. What does that saying really mean?Are they implying there may be something similar between the two?Now it isn’t for sure that that is what they were trying to say, but there sure are a lot of things that are the same.
The similarities between the two I think are when that love becomes war.There could still be love for the two of them, but they are usually in a battle like it is a war. I have seen this first hand doing couples therapy San Diego.A couple that used to be in love now is a couple in a constant fight.It is my objective to help bring peace between the two people. And restore that once great relationship.
So what are the signs of trouble? One of the biggest warning signs is communication. Or should I say lack of communication. For any relationship, communication is key.Since it is crucial, if you as a couple are able to know that there is less communication, that is a sign. It is a warning sign of trouble. Whether I am doing couples counseling or marriage counseling in San Diego I see it all the time.Because if you are not able to communicate effectively, any small thing can turn into a huge problem. Proper communication helps avoid that.
So as a family counselor San Diego one of the biggest things I do is try to teach the couple how to communicate. One of the biggest keys to communication is listening.A lot of people when they think of being able to communicate they think it refers to talking. But really if you don’t listen well, you don’t really understand each other. So by helping the couple listen better their communication improves greatly.
By recognizing this sign couples can know trouble may be brewing.Now if the couple can spot this problem early in their relationship, they might be able to avoid some serious problems. From my experience the best way to solve problems in a relationship is to avoid them.But if you don’t spot that sign early, the prime way to solve the problem is to learn how to communicate.Sounds basic but what it can do is have a major role in the problem.
Tags: couples counseling, couples therapy, family therapist, marriage counseling, marriage therapist