To commit or not to commit, is that your question? You probably know the warning signs. Everything has been going well with the new man in your life, and then, suddenly, he becomes reluctant to see - or even speak with - you. Oh no! He doesn’t want to commit… or does he?

It’s very easy to jump to the conclusion that your new man has been scared away by the prospect of making a commitment. After all, by suddenly going “cold” on you like this, it certainly looks that way. But do you really know what’s driving him? Do you really know why he has become distant? Perhaps the true reason has nothing to do with you at all.

Men who fear commitment tend to be the biggest naysayers when it comes time for their male friends to get married. They’ll be the ones going on and on about how the friend is making the biggest mistake of his life. If you’re with a guy like this you know that each and every time he does this it makes you feel insignificant. Men who do this don’t really consider how it makes their girlfriend feel.

Understanding how to get a commitment from a man begins with recognizing that men respond to actions and not words. If you are constantly trying to strike up a conversation with your man about why you two should be getting married, he’s going to resist it more and more. He’ll feel pressured and once a man feels he is being pushed into anything, he’ll push back and not give in. You’ll have much more success if you actually stop talking about marriage completely. Don’t bring up the idea of anything more serious than what you have right now. It won’t take him long to notice the change in you and it will strike a chord within him.

If you are convinced that you haven’t acted in an overly demanding manner, the reason for him neglecting you may lie with him. That’s right! It could he him.That is why it’s important not to jump to conclusions. Sure, it may be because he’s frightened of commitment… but it may also be due to reasons entirely unrelated to you and your relationship. Perhaps he is facing work or other personal difficulties that he is attempting to deal with. Alternatively, perhaps he just doesn’t feel that you are the one for him, meaning that he no longer wants to see you.

In this case, you might try asking him to tell you why he no longer wishes to see you, or see you as much. If what he says indicates that it has nothing to do with your relationship - and that he wants to continue seeing you, albeit at a slower pace - it might be an opportunity for you to offer him support in whatever challenge he’s facing. On the other hand, if he indicates that he’s no longer interested in you, accept it and spare yourself the emotional trauma of trying to get him to change his mind. Trust me ladies, pushing, whining and drama just don’t work! There is someone else out there for you - don’t waste a second more on the guy who is not in it with you.

Here is the skinny ladies. Men can become distant for a variety of reasons. Carefully consider whether your actions have been a little off-putting, and then whether the man in question may have wanted to cool the relationship down for other reasons. If he definitely wants to stop the romance, it is far better for you to just let it go. There are many ways to let go of him  

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