Divorce is not a fun topic of discussion between adults, let alone how difficult it is for the kids.  Although the conversation will be difficult, it is very important that you explain what is happening so the children are not left out to imagine the answers on their own.  Kids are often deeply upset by divorce, but it can be resolved when there is good communication between them and the parents.

How you tell your kids about your impending divorce may depend on their ages and maturity levels.  There is no need to go in to a long, lengthy discussion with a two year old that does not understand what you are saying and that is not able to speak on their own at that point.

Simply explain to younger children that Mommy or Daddy won’t be living with them anymore, but will be moving to a new home.  Be sure to tell them that the parent that is leaving truly loves them and wants them around but that they will have their main home with the parent that will have custody.

As kids get older, they can more easily understand what love is and what it feels like.  You are creating a toxic environment for them if you and your spouse continually argue and fight in front of them, and they would love a change from the negativity.  In case you think they are old enough to comprehend the meaning of divorce then it is a nice notion to break it to them honestly.

You should tell them that the parents cannot live together any longer because they have fallen out of love.  You should never paint a picture that’s rosier than it really is, but you should also never slander your spouse in front of your children no matter how mature they are.

They have great affection for both of their parents and they would certainly be against the one that speaks rubbish to the other in their presence.  Even if your, soon to be ex, was really a terrible person and did some horrific things, the kids do not need to hear of it.  You do not want to be responsible for turning a son or daughter against their parent.  Later on they will be annoyed with you.

Your kids will always have a deep love for both of their parents so talking honestly with them, when they are old enough to understand, is the best answer to anyone who is wondering how to tell their kids that their parents are getting a divorce.

If you’d like more information, you can learn about my practice as an experienced family law lawyer in Austin. You can also request our Austin Divorce Guide CD at www.TruslerLegal.com. If you need more specific information, you can take a look at our questions about divorce in Austin TX.

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