It is possible that you can’t get your ex back because you really don’t want to. It might sound harsh, as the truth can, but we often do things that cause us our own dissatisfaction and pain because we believe it is the lesser of the two possible painful scenarios. We often forget to look at the possible positive outcome of extending ourselves. Whether it’s to get ex back or find someone new, self awareness can go a long way.

It is part of the human condition to cause one’s own painful reality rather than become victim to it via someone else’s control. This is not to say that it is human nature, but a condition. One that has been taught through generations of others with the human condition. We threw out the love of our life to make sure that we were not the one that was dumped. Sounds familiar?

Alternatively, we eat what we know we shouldn’t and then wonder what fat loss solution will work best for us. Of course, we couldn’t possibly think of not eating the chips, the donut, and the candy bar for breakfast. We do these things because somehow we believe we are taking good care of ourselves.

We can drown our faces in the finest beauty cosmetics but if we feel unsafe being loved we will throw daggers at the world and keep everyone at arms length. We feel the uglier we can become the safer we are from someone’s ill intentions. We are truly just trying to protect ourselves. We shield ourselves from the potential for pain by shielding ourselves from the potential for love.

Perhaps if we continue to tell ourselves that we have failed, are worthless, and are really never going to amount to anything we will be so uncomfortable in our own skin that we will have to make changes and become better people. Maybe if we keep drilling our own negative thoughts into our head we will somehow learn to grow from the experience.

It would be wonderful if we could all put down our weapons of choice and start to realize that there are other factors in play here. We do cause our own pain to make sure that, at the very least, we get to be in control of it. We don’t ask for help and we never look back.

The problem is that the more we protect ourselves the more we end up hurting ourselves. We believe that no one can be as good as they seem and that no one will ever want to hear everything that we’ve kept locked in our heads. We are, by all means, individuals trying to figure out how to be a community.

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